One of the few comforts this Zen Absurdist finds in the swirling absurdity of modernity is the simple truth that most authoritarians—and their fascist cousins—are, thankfully, idiots.
It’s almost cosmic justice: these wannabe tyrants strut across the stage with their bloated egos, trying to dictate the future, but the tragicomic punchline is that they’re usually too incompetent to pull it off.
Sure, they might score some short-term wins. Their grifts, their hateful scapegoating, their appeals to tribal rage—these tactics can temporarily corral the disaffected and the unthinking. But the idea that this parade of mediocrities could sustain a regime of lasting consequence? Laughable.
Just look at the current cast of would-be overlords. Trump? A below-average IQ businessman whose biggest talent is marketing his own failure. RFK Jr.? A worm in a suit, stumbling through the corridors of anti-vax nonsense like a moth searching for a flame. Stephen Miller? Hahahaha—like a Kafka character who accidentally wandered into a failed SNL sketch. And JD Vance—the VP of Eyeliner—parading around like a kid who discovered the cure and his mom’s makeup bag.
It’s like the movie Idiocracy was less a satire and more a prophecy—though even Idiocracy gave them too much credit.
I know, I know. They’re mean. They’re spiteful. They’re arrogant. Racist. Homophobic. Dangerous. That’s the punch. But here’s the kicker: they’re still idiots. And that matters.
Because the real threat isn’t an army of genius villains plotting the perfect authoritarian coup. The real threat is that these dolts, incompetent though they may be, will do enough damage on their way out that they leave us in smoldering ruins. But a durable authoritarian state? Built by these half-baked minds? Not a chance.
The system of reality—call it karma, call it Forcing Theory, call it cosmic absurdity—demands novelty and intelligence to sustain itself. And these fools have neither.
They’re riding a wave of fear and resentment, but waves break. And when they do, the foam dissipates into the ocean of possibility.
So, my fellow travelers, don’t mistake the volume of their noise for the weight of their wisdom. Don’t mistake their temporary grasp for permanent dominion. They’re playing a rigged game with a deck they can barely shuffle.
The absurdity of modernity might sometimes be overwhelming. But the idiocy of our would-be masters is the brightest lamp in the night.
They’re idiots. And that’s why they will fail.